Maltesers,
I don't know how you expect your life after marriage. But, I really feel strange for the relationship between you and you bf, particularly that you have known him for 11 years. You 2 have decided to get married and you will be one of his family members and his parents and relatives are not bother to meet you? Does it make sense? I don't feel it normal for a man who wants to marry a woman but does not want her to meet his family. Possibly he does not want to meet your family too, right? You can expect that you will be isolated in the future after you marry him.
Let me tell you a real story of my friend ~~
My friend K was close to 30 and scared that she would never be able to get married. She met a handsome man and got along with him so good. The guy treated her like a princess and he went out with her all the times. K introduced him to her friends and I met him twice. But, I did not have a good feeling about him because what he did seemed to be so obvious to please all of us and try to appear to be super nice, super caring, anyway just too much (only my personal feeling). Not long afterwards, they married and it's the first time K met the guy's parents and other relatives and friends (he did not even bring her out to see his friends before marriage). A few months after their marriage, the guy complained about his job and he wanted to have his own business. He asked the wife to support him. As a wife, K supported her husband on starting a business, financially and connection-wise (she knows a lot of people as she's a marketing manager in a big company). However, the guy had spent quite a bit of money but nothing happened. Finally, K told him that she could not give him any more money unless there's something solid that he can show. Then, this man started to reveal his real face. He started to curse at my friend, did not go home until very late, not return phone calls....
K wanted to rescue her marriage and sat down to talk to her husband but this man got mad and asked for a divorce. She's heart-broken but it's not the end. The mother-in-law called her all the time and said many bad things about her, claiming that she hurt her son so badly. What a lousy wife she was, how she should support her husband without questioning, bah bah bah... Since my friend has earning power and she has her own property, she did not ask for anything from the divorce. Instead, the mother-in-law asked her for all the gold and jewelry back as she's not her daughter-in-law any more. Of course, she did not give any back to her. K's husband did not return any money to her either.
Well, I'm not saying that your bf is thinking or planning the same thing but I would say that it's so important to know what kind of man he is and how he gets along with the other people before marriage. When you are in love, you will try to show the best parts to each other but in real marriage, you have to accept that everybody has good and bad faces. The most important thing is that you need to see that and be sure that you can love him still after seeing that. I don't feel that you really love your bf that much. To marry someone need the motives to take care of him no matter how he becomes in the future. Are you sure that you can do that?
Sorry that it's a bit lengthy. I just want to share some of my thoughts.
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